Whether you are a first-timer in a homestay or an experienced veteran with all shapes and sizes of homestay families, there are some basic do’s and don’ts you should know or at least review.
Do’s:
Do make sure to try and help with household chores. From my personal experience, I have found that in my Japanese homestays, they often decline my help and will tell me I don’t need to do anything. I think this is part of Japan’s polite culture, but you should always try and ask. Usually, you can do a few small things around the house to help. If they don’t let you wash your dishes, you can at least place them in the sink and throw away your trash. If they don’t let you tidy up or clean the rest of the house, focus on keeping your room tidy and organized.
Do bring a gift! It is courtesy in Japan to bring a gift to your homestay family that represents something about your home country or city/state. Since I am from the Bay Area, I brought a baseball cap for the San Francisco Giants, a photobook of San Francisco, and an American brand of cookies. I would advise if you are going to bring food, try not to bring chocolate as it has a high chance of melting en route. Try to keep in mind the people you are bringing the items for. If the family has young children, try something like candy or toys. If you know any information about your host family, use it to come up with some personalized gifts that play to their interests.
Do be open-minded and curious! Don’t be disappointed if you don’t end up with your preferred family size/dynamic. Try to make the best of your experience! I stayed with a single-mother my first stay in Fukuoka over the summer of 2018, and she was fantastic! We didn’t go out much, but we exchanged stories, talked about our interests, and even met up with her friends together. Make sure to ask about your family’s lives to let them know you care and that you are interested in them.
Don’ts:
Don’t stay cooped up in your room all day. The reason you are in a homestay is to get some language experience talking with your host family! Even if you are uncomfortable or feel clumsy in the language, just take it slow and ask questions instead. Try to listen and catch on to words and phrases that you hear. Especially if you miss your friends or parents, it is super important to minimize your time with people from back home. If you spend too much time speaking English, you might not learn any of the language at all!
Don’t spend every weekend or every evening out with your friends. I know it can be great fun to do some evening karaoke or go out to dinner with friends, but it is a valuable experience to be in a host family and you should spend time with them. Try to eat dinner with them at least half each week and try and spend time on the weekends with them. If they aren’t making plans, try inviting them to something like seeing a movie!